Monday Jun 24, 2024

Virtues and Vulnerabilities: Why Good Christians Can Attract Toxic People


Register here for our UNLIMITED Moving Beyond People Pleasing Drop-In Group Coaching + Video Curriculum

Today, Julie & Leslie are exploring how some of your best qualities and highest Christian virtues can make you a target for toxic individuals. Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract destructive people despite your kind heart and good intentions? This episode will help you understand and transform how you navigate relationships, allowing you to embrace your strengths while safeguarding your heart.

People Pleasing:
People pleasers are often generous and eager to make others happy, which can make them susceptible to manipulation. Without the ability to say no, people pleasers may find themselves overextended and exploited. Learn to buy time before committing and practice saying no without guilt.

Loyalty is a noble trait, reflecting a commitment to relationships. However, blind loyalty can lead to staying in harmful relationships with habitual liars or abusers. Pair loyalty with discernment and wisdom to know when to break away from toxic situations.

Forgiveness is a core Christian virtue, emphasizing grace and mercy. However, endless forgiveness without consequences can enable continued abuse or neglect. Healthy forgiveness includes justice and setting boundaries, ensuring there are consequences for harmful actions.

Forbearance promotes patience and tolerance, important in any relationship. Being passive and ignoring habitual sin or evil can be dangerous. Be intentional about forbearance and confront issues when necessary, following Ephesians 5:11 to expose deeds of darkness.

Kindness reflects God's love and compassion. Niceness without boundaries can lead to being used and misused. Be kind but firm, setting limits on unacceptable behavior without compromising your values.

Selflessness mirrors Christ's sacrifice and service. Being overly selfless can lead to losing your identity and becoming an object in the relationship. Steward your life wisely, balancing self-care with serving others, and maintaining your individuality.

Trust is fundamental to any healthy relationship. Naive trust can lead to betrayal and harm. Trust with discernment, recognizing when someone is not trustworthy and acting accordingly.

As we discuss these virtues, remember that we are currently enrolling for Leslie’s Moving Beyond People Pleasing program. This course is designed to help you apply these principles in your life. Visit to learn more and register.

Final Thoughts:

  • Embrace your Christian virtues but pair them with wisdom and discernment to protect yourself from toxic individuals.
  • Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s stewardship. Prioritize your well-being to better serve others and fulfill your God-given potential.
  • Remember to consider the entire counsel of God, not just isolated verses, to guide your life and relationships.

Thank you for joining us today. We hope this conversation helps you navigate your relationships more wisely and embrace your strengths while safeguarding your heart. Until next time, take care and stay true to your values.


Comments (5)

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I do have a program called Equip for counselors and pastors.

Monday Jun 24, 2024

Oh my! Your strongest gifts have hidden weaknesses. Empathy

Monday Jun 24, 2024

You are educating me and I am educating others. I got a chance to talk to my pastors wife about the harm he had done. Then I sent her your podcast

@Leslie Vernick Team :I’m so sorry, Trish. We are trying to educate them!

Monday Jun 24, 2024

I’m so sorry, Trish. We are trying to educate them!

Monday Jun 24, 2024

The church has done my marriage and many marriages wrong

Monday Jun 24, 2024

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