The Connection Between Trauma and People Pleasing

Resource:
Leslie's People Pleasing Course

In this episode, Julie and Leslie explore the connection between trauma and people-pleasing habits. They discuss how past experiences can lead us to prioritize others' approval over our own well-being. Through real-life stories and practical tips, they empower listeners to break free from these patterns, find their voice, and foster more authentic connections.

Why Understanding the Connection is Important

• Childhood patterns: Survival mechanisms that may not serve us well in adulthood
• Impact of unresolved trauma on adult relationships and well-being

Signs of People-Pleasing Behavior

• Difficulty saying no, anxiety when refusing requests
• Constantly seeking approval, compromising personal values

Roots of Negative People-Pleasing Behavior

• Relationship trauma: Abuse, neglect, abandonment
• Response mechanisms: Fight, flight, freeze, fawn

Personal Experiences with People-Pleasing

• Leslie Vernick's journey: Balancing pleasing others with self-care and values

Setting Boundaries

• Importance of identity and responsibility in setting boundaries
• Practical examples: Saying no without guilt, prioritizing self-care

Strategies for Healing from Past Trauma

• Recognizing trauma's impact on decision-making and relationships
• Taking responsibility for personal healing and growth

Conclusion

• Importance of internal healing for breaking the cycle of people-pleasing
• Steps towards self-awareness, setting boundaries, and healing from trauma