Monday Oct 16, 2023

Surviving Coercive Control: Jennifer’s Journey

In this powerful episode, Jennifer shares her courageous journey of surviving a destructive marriage characterized by coercive control.  

Part 1: Unveiling Coercive Control

  • Jennifer reveals the insidious nature of coercive control, including constant threats of abandonment and emotional manipulation.
  • She emphasizes how these actions often went unnoticed because they were subtle but nonetheless destructive.

Part 2: The Impact of Coercive Control

  • Julie delves deeper into Jennifer's experiences, focusing on the profound impact of coercive control.
  • Jennifer shares an early experience that revealed her husband's manipulation tactics and how she was discouraged from setting boundaries or expressing opinions.
  • Jennifer began to experience anxiety and panic attacks that resulted from her husband's threats and unpredictable behavior.

Part 3: Coping and Staying in the Marriage

  • Julie explores Jennifer's coping mechanisms and they explore why she stayed in the marriage.
  • Jennifer discusses the gradual progression of abuse and her belief that her husband would eventually change.
  • She also reflects on a feeling of being trapped and how fear played a significant role in her decision to stay, particularly after having children.

Part 4: Isolation and Punishment

  • The conversation delves into the isolation tactics used by Jennifer's husband.
  • Jennifer describes how her husband never explicitly imposed rules but used various strategies to isolate her and exert control.
  • She shares examples of emotional punishment, including contempt, belittling, and affection withdrawal, emphasizing the need for recognizing the signs of abuse.

Part 5: Seeking Help and Church Response

  • Julie discusses a pivotal moment when Jennifer and her husband sought help from their church.
  • Jennifer acknowledges her husband's initial willingness to address the issue and recounts the church's response, including the pastor's advice and the lack of support from church members.

Part 6: Hitting a Breaking Point

  • The conversation shifts to a recent incident in 2021 when Jennifer's husband once again walked out on her.
  • Jennifer explains the unique challenges she faced due to her husband's control over finances, isolation, and living in foreign countries.
  • She describes the extent of her husband's rage, which lasted nonstop for nine weeks, and its emotional toll on her.
  • Highlights the power of coercive control and emotional abuse, even without physical violence.

Part 7: Seeking Help and Finding Conquer

  • Jennifer shares her journey of seeking help, including a turning point when she cried out to God for guidance.
  • Talks about her struggle to find the right support, navigating between secular and Christian advice.
  • Discusses how she discovered Conquer and the impact it had on her healing process.

Part 8: The Transformative Power of Conquer

  • Jennifer highlights the transformative impact of Conquer on her life.
  • Expresses gratitude for the safe and supportive space it provides for women facing similar challenges.
  • Discusses key insights and "aha moments" she gained through Conquer, including understanding the abuse cycle and victim mentality.
  • Emphasizes the importance of focusing on personal growth and wellness, regardless of the decision to stay or leave an abusive relationship.

Part 9: Encouragement for Others

  • Jennifer shares a message of hope and encouragement for those who may be listening and facing similar situations.
  • Encourages individuals to consider joining Conquer and emphasizes its role in empowering women to make informed choices about their relationships.
  • Highlights the significance of finding a supportive community and taking steps toward healing and personal growth.

Conquer is open through October 17th. Sign up at
Order Leslie's book, "The Emotionally Destructive Marriage."
Find other resources at 

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