What is betrayal trauma?
There can be financial, emotional, betrayal, sexual, etc. When betrayal happens the picture you had of your spouse is shattered and so is the picture you had of yourself. It can be a struggle to even trust yourself again … because you trusted this person who once betrayed you.
The priority, beyond any problem, is your self-care. When you’ve been betrayed, you must take care of yourself in order to deal with the problem.
Coach Jen Cole experienced betrayal trauma in her own marriage and shares how she went from having a faith of desperation to having a faith of surrender.
First thing to take care of you is, of course, a deep breath and prayer, along with good sleep. But you also need to find a trusted person - someone who won’t pass judgment on your heart and who will let you express the emotions you need to express.
You are worth the time, money, and effort to work on YOU. Your work is to heal and grow so that, if you are betrayed, you know how to handle yourself so that it isn’t as scary and devastating as when you are dependent on that person.
Connection is important. Connection to God, and to others, and even to yourself.
Proverbs talks a lot about being aware of yourself, having self-awareness, self-control, and self-discipline so you can self-discipline. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. The very term, “love others as yourself” implies that you care for yourself. “Guard your heart above all else,” implies that you are aware of your heart and caring for it.
If you’ve been betrayed in any way, understand that God knows how you feel. He was betrayed, too. He is your advocate and will comfort you in your pain. And there are others who want to help you through this dark time.
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