Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

Promise of Peace: Navigating Christmas When Relationships Hurt

This episode, recorded last Christmas, is a reminder that you can find peace in God's presence this Christmas... even if you're dealing with a destructive relationship. In this episode, Leslie & Julie share memories of Christmas debacles and difficulties as well as very practical tips for being your best self during the holidays. Rest assured, friend, there is HOPE! He was born and He is risen. Merry Christmas!!

Break Free From the Breakdown Mindset

Importance of Mindset
Discusses the critical role of mindset in making real changes.
Leslie explains the difference between breakdown and breakthrough mindsets.
Uses biblical examples like Esther and Joseph to illustrate points.
Breakdown Mindset
Leslie describes what a breakdown mindset is.
Explains its effects using stories of people stuck in victim mentality.
Denial of Reality
Leslie explains how people deny reality to avoid suffering.
Shares examples of false spirituality and its impact on lives.
Personal Story of Grief
Julie shares a personal story about her sister’s tragic death and subsequent family losses.
Discusses the weight of grief and the common but unhelpful reactions from others.
Steps to Breakthrough Mindset
Leslie talks about distinguishing between healthy grieving and a breakdown.
Emphasizes finding meaning in suffering.
Shares the importance of perspective and purpose in tragedy.
Breakthrough Mindset
Leslie explains what a breakthrough mindset looks like.
Provides personal and real-world examples of people converting loss into meaningful actions.
Practical Techniques
Leslie provides practical steps and mindset shifts.
Includes tracking thoughts and noticing the stories we tell ourselves.
Importance of Self-Growth
Stresses the importance of self-growth and taking responsibility for one’s mindset.
Mentions the Empowered to Change group as a resource for developing a noble self.
Empowered to Change
Details about the Empowered to Change group:
Its role in personal growth.
How it helps women navigate difficult times by focusing on individual growth and mindset shifts.
Prayer and Encouragement
Leslie ends with a prayer for women in a breakdown mindset.
 
 

Reclaiming Her Life: Mary's Fight

Resources:
Empowered to Change: www.leslievernick.com/empowered
Darby Strickland https://www.darbystrickland.com/ 
In this heart-wrenching and inspirational episode, Mary shares her powerful story of overcoming decades of abuse. From her tumultuous marriages to finding the strength to rebuild her life, listeners will be moved and motivated to find resilience in their own struggles.
Mary's Background
Insights into Mary’s early life and personal history.
Brief mention of her age and pride in overcoming challenges.
First Marriage
The emotional and psychological abuse Mary experienced.
Efforts to maintain a normal home and protect her children.
Her husband’s eventual abandonment.
Second Marriage
Initial optimism and eventual realization of failure.
The additional challenges and learning experiences.
Discovering Leslie's Materials
How Mary found and began engaging with Leslie’s resources.
The impact of biblical evidence and therapy on her decisions.
Applying Knowledge and Therapy
Practical steps Mary took to apply Leslie’s teachings.
Collaboration with her PTSD therapist to understand and confront abuse.
Personal Achievements and Growth
Overcoming past abuses and achieving significant personal milestones.
Her educational pursuits and the establishment of a discipleship group.
Aspirations to start an autism center.
Balancing Commitments
Struggles and strategies for maintaining a balanced life.
Learning to prioritize and manage commitments without overextending.
The Role of Counseling
The necessity and importance of having a supportive counselor.
Perseverance in finding the right match for counseling.
Practical advice for those experiencing abuse and seeking help.
Final Thoughts
Encouragement for listeners to seek help and realize their value.
Empowering message to those feeling defeated by ongoing abuse.

Habits for a Healthier Mind

RESOURCES:Register Here for Leslie's Free Workshop on December 5th!Honey Lake ClinicLeslie's Quick Start GuideIn this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Leslie Vernick chats with Dr. Karl Benzio about integrating faith and psychiatric science for healing and better decision-making. Dr. Benzio, from Honey Lake Clinic, shares his journey and practical tools like the SPEARS model to help improve mental health and relationships. Don't miss this insightful conversation!
Personal Story
Karl's journey of struggle and redemption
Early Influences
Childhood challenges and the impact of faith
Faith and Psychiatry
Integrating science and faith for healing
Practical Advice for Decision-Making
Empowering godly decisions in tough relationships
SPEARS Decision Making
Overview of the SPEARS decision-making model
Role of Relationships and Maintenance
Importance of daily psychological and spiritual upkeep

Embrace the Past, Write the Future: Alyson's Story

RESOURCESRegister for Leslie's Free Workshop December 5th!www.leslievernick.com/story 
Leslie's Quick Start Guidewww.leslievernick.com/start
 
In this episode, Julie Sedenko sits down with Alyson Zurek, who opens up about her tumultuous life marked by three marriages, a traumatic brain injury, and childhood trauma.
From early instability and maternal abandonment to overcoming abusive relationships and exploring emotional recovery, Alyson shares her story of resilience and healing.
She discusses how finding faith and joining supportive communities like Conquer helped her reclaim her life and peace of mind. The conversation serves as a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit and offers hope for those in similar struggles.

The Church's Role in Combating Domestic Violence

Resources
Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start 
Chris Moles' Website & Resources: https://www.chrismoles.org/ 
Theology of Suffering and Authority
Discussion on imbalance of theology related to suffering and authority
Magnification of male headship and sacrifice over safety and protection of the oppressed
Lack of focus on misuse and cautions of authority
Abuse of Authority and Accountability
Constituted and delegated authority in the church
Power comes with responsibility and accountability
The church's duty to hold authority figures accountable for misuse
Jesus' Teachings on Leadership
Jesus' warnings against the misuse of authority
Connection to domestic abuse involving various forms of power and control
The church's slow response to addressing these abuses
Restoration and Consequences of Sin
Biblical references to power under versus power over
The role of accountability and honesty in theological commitments
Expectation of servant leadership and its importance
Hope for Marriages Affected by Domestic Abuse
Finding hope and change through the gospel
The focus on individual safety and sanity over marital restoration
Importance of setting boundaries and personal growth for both partners
Domestic Abuse: Definitions and Dynamics
Misuse of power and patterns of coercive behavior
The importance of recognizing power dynamics in abuse
Differentiating between isolated acts and ongoing patterns of control
Can Women Be Abusive?
Acknowledgment of women's potential for abusive behavior
Differences in power dynamics and impact between men and women
Examples of women abusing power in certain contexts
Nonviolent Resistance and Personal Agency
Encouraging nonviolent forms of resistance
The significance of maintaining dignity and agency
Practical advice on resisting control without escalating violence

Courage in Crisis

RESOURCES: Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-GET-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start
The Hidden Depths of Addiction
Discovery of her husband's addiction
Struggles with expectations of respect and family values, especially within the church setting
Facing Anger and Abuse
Anger and threats escalate
Irrational anger
Psychological and physical toll of the marriage
The Impact on Children
Tansil's fear and realization of the impact on her children
Protective actions taken to shield her children from the abuse
Recognizing Red Flags
Reflection on early warning signs before and soon after marriage
Importance of identifying and not ignoring red flags in relationships
The Turning Point: Seeking Safety
Seeing the truth
Initial steps towards seeking help and legal separation
Legal Separation and Its Aftermath
Hiring an attorney and filing for legal separation
Emotional and practical challenges of separating from an abusive spouse
Experiences with victim services and legal protection
Support Systems and Conquer Community
Participation in Conquer and the support gained from the community
Key lessons and validations received from fellow survivors
Importance of staying anchored in reality and implementing safety plans
The Role of Faith and Church
Challenges with pastoral support and their often inadequate response to abuse
Importance of faith and prayer in Tansil's journey
Positive and negative experiences with church leadership
Final Thoughts and Advice
Encouragement to listeners to trust their gut instincts and prioritize safety
Advice on not dismissing red flags and recognizing one's own worth
Final reflections and call to action for women in similar situations to seek help and support

Five Signs of a Toxic Relationship

RESOURCES
Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start Pattern Questions to Ask:
When was the first time ...
When was the last time... 
What is a typical time?
What's the worst time?
Summary: In this episode, Julie Sedenko and relationship expert Leslie Vernick discuss how to recognize and address destructive relationships. Leslie highlights five key signs of a destructive relationship and offers advice on navigating these challenging situations.
Identifying Red Flags in Marriage
Explanation of common red flags that may indicate a relationship is becoming destructive.
Recognizing Patterns of Destructive Behavior
Importance of identifying repeat patterns in behavior that are harmful.
Differentiation between occasional mistakes and ongoing destructive patterns.
Sign One: Feeling Controlled
Indicators of control and manipulation in a relationship.
Psychological and emotional impact of being controlled.
Sign Two: Feeling Afraid
Understanding fear in non-physically abusive relationships.
Common fears and their effects on the dynamics of a relationship.
Sign Three: Feeling Confused
The role of gaslighting in causing confusion.
Strategies for regaining clarity and validating one’s own reality.
Sign Four: Feeling Objectified
Recognizing when one is being treated as an object rather than a partner.
The emotional toll of objectification.
Sign Five: Deception
Impact of chronic deception on trust and safety in a relationship.
Recognizing the signs of deceit and its consequences.
Navigating Deceptive and Manipulative Behavior
Dealing with duplicity and manipulation in relationships.
Strategies for protecting oneself and maintaining sanity.
Taking Control of Your Happiness
Personal anecdotes and empowerment stories.
Importance of self-celebration and taking charge of one’s own well-being.
Recognizing Destructive Patterns and Seeking Safety
Identifying patterns and understanding their frequency and intensity.
Assessing personal boundaries and safety measures.

The Challenges of Neurodiverse Marriages

In this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Dr. Stephanie Holmes, an autism researcher, life coach, and ordained minister, joins us to discuss the unique dynamics of neurodiverse marriages. Dr. Holmes brings her vast expertise and personal experience in navigating the challenges that couples face when one partner is on the autism spectrum. The conversation emphasizes understanding neurodiversity, the impact of late diagnoses on marriages, recognizing red flags, and practical advice for women feeling unheard or unloved in such relationships. Listeners will gain valuable insights into self-care, boundary-setting, and finding supportive communities within a Christian context.
Key Takeaways
Understanding Neurodiversity
Explanation of neurodiverse and neurotypical terms.
Importance of recognizing different neurological wiring and its impact on relationships.
Impact of Late Diagnosis
Effects of late autism spectrum diagnoses on marital relationships.
Historical context of autism diagnosis and its implications.
Recognizing Red Flags
Identifying signs that a partner might be on the autism spectrum.
Need for reassessment for individuals diagnosed with ADHD before 2013.
Challenges in Neurodiverse Marriages
Common struggles such as lack of emotional connection and communication issues.
Necessity for both partners to learn and adapt to each other's needs.
Trauma and Neurodiverse Relationships
Understanding Trauma A (absence of good things) and Trauma B (presence of bad things) in neurodiverse marriages.
Impact of trauma on the neurotypical spouse and importance of addressing these issues.
Counseling and Coaching
Benefits of coaching over traditional counseling for neurodiverse couples.
Importance of individual therapy and trauma work before starting couples work.
Personal and Spiritual Growth
Encouraging women to set boundaries and seek self-care.
Finding identity and community support outside of the marriage.
Final Advice
Practical tips for women feeling unheard or unloved in their relationships.
Recognizing and addressing the impact of a spouse's behavior on their well-being.

When Love Becomes Toxic: Raquel's Experience

RESOURCESLeslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start 
In this episode Julie Sedenko talks to Raquel about her personal journey and insights into toxic marriages, emotional abuse, and healing. You will learn, from Raquel's experiences, about the importance of establishing boundaries, tips for healing after emotional abuse, and key lessons from her marriage. This empowering podcast provides valuable resources and encouragement for those navigating their own relationship challenges.
Raquel's Marriage
Rachel discusses the truth behind her marriage experiences
Emotional Abuse Unmasked
Revealing the signs and effects of emotional abuse
Raquel on Toxic Marriages
Insights on what makes a marriage toxic
Marriage Boundaries
Raquel’s story on setting and maintaining boundaries
Healing After Emotional Abuse
Steps and stories of healing post-abuse
Raquel's Marriage Lessons
Key lessons learned from her own marriage
Escaping Toxic Relationships
Strategies and advice for leaving toxic situations
Raquel's Guide to Boundaries
Comprehensive guide to establishing and enforcing boundaries
Toxic Marriage Insights
Additional insights on toxic relationships
Raquel's Truth on Marriage
Final thoughts and personal truths about marriage