Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
Relationship Truth: Unfiltered is a place for people of faith to find real answers when it comes to destructive relationships. Leslie Vernick is the author of seven books, including the best-selling, ”The Emotionally Destructive Marriage.” She has dedicated her life to cutting through the religious confusion and teaching women to grow in their relationships: with God, with themselves, and with others.
Episodes
4 days ago
4 days ago
Resources:Elyse Fitzpatrick's websiteElyse's BooksLeslie's WebsiteLeslie's Quick Start GuideIn this episode, Leslie Vernick talks with Elyse Fitzpatrick the author of over 25 books on Christian living. Elyse holds a master's degree in biblical counseling from Trinity Theological Seminary and is a popular conference speaker and grandmother to six.
Discussing 'Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women':
Overview of Elyse's book 'Worthy.'
The book celebrates the value of women in the church and society.
The inspiration behind writing 'Worthy.'
Writing and Reception:
Elyse's experiences around 2019-2020 that led to writing the book.
Conversation with Paul Tripp and reading a blog post by Eric Shoemaker.
The unexpected pushback received from various groups, including church leaders.
Handling Pushback:
The surprising amount of resistance to the book's message.
Criticisms, including the apparent lack of focus on traditional gender roles.
Shock and discouragement faced, even being disinvited from conferences and losing publishing contracts.
The Biblical Value of Women:
Discussion on the value of women as depicted in the Bible.
Examples such as Hagar and the significance of her story in Genesis.
Cultural and Church Challenges:
Examination of the church’s fear of women having power.
The issue of power dynamics and the misuse of spiritual teachings to control.
Lessons from the Bible:
Biblical accounts demonstrating God's use and valuing of women.
Stories of women like Eve, Hagar, and Mary of Bethany.
Women as Co-laborers in Faith:
The importance of recognizing women as equal contributors to the faith.
Challenges women face in being seen as more than just traditional roles.
Jesus' Treatment of Women:
Examples from the New Testament showing Jesus' respect and care for women.
Stories of Jesus protecting and valuing women.
Resistance and Reconciliation:
Different responses to sin and accountability between David and Saul.
Importance of genuine repentance and the recognition of women's value in the community.
Monday Dec 30, 2024
Monday Dec 30, 2024
In this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko and relationship expert Leslie Vernick tackle the tough topic of reconciliation. If you've ever wondered when or if you should reconcile in a relationship, this episode is for you. They discuss everything from the reasons why someone might separate to how to know if it's really the right time to come back together.
Why Separate?
Leslie talks about the big reasons people choose to separate—from safety concerns to ongoing negative behavior and its impact.
Separation as a Wake-Up Call
Separation can sometimes be a wake-up call. How do you know if it's working?
Spotting Real Change
It's not just about saying sorry. How do you know your partner has really changed and is ready to reconcile?
Legal Stuff You Need to Know
Separation isn't just emotional—there are legal aspects to consider. Make sure you're protected.
Grace and Boundaries
How do you balance giving grace with setting boundaries? We discuss what you can tolerate and what’s a deal-breaker.
When It's Just Not Going to Work
Sometimes, reconciliation isn’t possible. Leslie explains when you should consider calling it quits.
Monday Dec 23, 2024
Monday Dec 23, 2024
This episode, recorded last Christmas, is a reminder that you can find peace in God's presence this Christmas... even if you're dealing with a destructive relationship. In this episode, Leslie & Julie share memories of Christmas debacles and difficulties as well as very practical tips for being your best self during the holidays. Rest assured, friend, there is HOPE! He was born and He is risen. Merry Christmas!!
Monday Dec 16, 2024
Monday Dec 16, 2024
Importance of Mindset
Discusses the critical role of mindset in making real changes.
Leslie explains the difference between breakdown and breakthrough mindsets.
Uses biblical examples like Esther and Joseph to illustrate points.
Breakdown Mindset
Leslie describes what a breakdown mindset is.
Explains its effects using stories of people stuck in victim mentality.
Denial of Reality
Leslie explains how people deny reality to avoid suffering.
Shares examples of false spirituality and its impact on lives.
Personal Story of Grief
Julie shares a personal story about her sister’s tragic death and subsequent family losses.
Discusses the weight of grief and the common but unhelpful reactions from others.
Steps to Breakthrough Mindset
Leslie talks about distinguishing between healthy grieving and a breakdown.
Emphasizes finding meaning in suffering.
Shares the importance of perspective and purpose in tragedy.
Breakthrough Mindset
Leslie explains what a breakthrough mindset looks like.
Provides personal and real-world examples of people converting loss into meaningful actions.
Practical Techniques
Leslie provides practical steps and mindset shifts.
Includes tracking thoughts and noticing the stories we tell ourselves.
Importance of Self-Growth
Stresses the importance of self-growth and taking responsibility for one’s mindset.
Mentions the Empowered to Change group as a resource for developing a noble self.
Empowered to Change
Details about the Empowered to Change group:
Its role in personal growth.
How it helps women navigate difficult times by focusing on individual growth and mindset shifts.
Prayer and Encouragement
Leslie ends with a prayer for women in a breakdown mindset.
Monday Dec 09, 2024
Monday Dec 09, 2024
Resources:
Empowered to Change: www.leslievernick.com/empowered
Darby Strickland https://www.darbystrickland.com/
In this heart-wrenching and inspirational episode, Mary shares her powerful story of overcoming decades of abuse. From her tumultuous marriages to finding the strength to rebuild her life, listeners will be moved and motivated to find resilience in their own struggles.
Mary's Background
Insights into Mary’s early life and personal history.
Brief mention of her age and pride in overcoming challenges.
First Marriage
The emotional and psychological abuse Mary experienced.
Efforts to maintain a normal home and protect her children.
Her husband’s eventual abandonment.
Second Marriage
Initial optimism and eventual realization of failure.
The additional challenges and learning experiences.
Discovering Leslie's Materials
How Mary found and began engaging with Leslie’s resources.
The impact of biblical evidence and therapy on her decisions.
Applying Knowledge and Therapy
Practical steps Mary took to apply Leslie’s teachings.
Collaboration with her PTSD therapist to understand and confront abuse.
Personal Achievements and Growth
Overcoming past abuses and achieving significant personal milestones.
Her educational pursuits and the establishment of a discipleship group.
Aspirations to start an autism center.
Balancing Commitments
Struggles and strategies for maintaining a balanced life.
Learning to prioritize and manage commitments without overextending.
The Role of Counseling
The necessity and importance of having a supportive counselor.
Perseverance in finding the right match for counseling.
Practical advice for those experiencing abuse and seeking help.
Final Thoughts
Encouragement for listeners to seek help and realize their value.
Empowering message to those feeling defeated by ongoing abuse.
Monday Dec 02, 2024
Monday Dec 02, 2024
RESOURCES:Register Here for Leslie's Free Workshop on December 5th!Honey Lake ClinicLeslie's Quick Start GuideIn this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Leslie Vernick chats with Dr. Karl Benzio about integrating faith and psychiatric science for healing and better decision-making. Dr. Benzio, from Honey Lake Clinic, shares his journey and practical tools like the SPEARS model to help improve mental health and relationships. Don't miss this insightful conversation!
Personal Story
Karl's journey of struggle and redemption
Early Influences
Childhood challenges and the impact of faith
Faith and Psychiatry
Integrating science and faith for healing
Practical Advice for Decision-Making
Empowering godly decisions in tough relationships
SPEARS Decision Making
Overview of the SPEARS decision-making model
Role of Relationships and Maintenance
Importance of daily psychological and spiritual upkeep
Monday Nov 25, 2024
Monday Nov 25, 2024
RESOURCESRegister for Leslie's Free Workshop December 5th!www.leslievernick.com/story
Leslie's Quick Start Guidewww.leslievernick.com/start
In this episode, Julie Sedenko sits down with Alyson Zurek, who opens up about her tumultuous life marked by three marriages, a traumatic brain injury, and childhood trauma.
From early instability and maternal abandonment to overcoming abusive relationships and exploring emotional recovery, Alyson shares her story of resilience and healing.
She discusses how finding faith and joining supportive communities like Conquer helped her reclaim her life and peace of mind. The conversation serves as a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit and offers hope for those in similar struggles.
Monday Nov 18, 2024
Monday Nov 18, 2024
Resources
Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start
Chris Moles' Website & Resources: https://www.chrismoles.org/
Theology of Suffering and Authority
Discussion on imbalance of theology related to suffering and authority
Magnification of male headship and sacrifice over safety and protection of the oppressed
Lack of focus on misuse and cautions of authority
Abuse of Authority and Accountability
Constituted and delegated authority in the church
Power comes with responsibility and accountability
The church's duty to hold authority figures accountable for misuse
Jesus' Teachings on Leadership
Jesus' warnings against the misuse of authority
Connection to domestic abuse involving various forms of power and control
The church's slow response to addressing these abuses
Restoration and Consequences of Sin
Biblical references to power under versus power over
The role of accountability and honesty in theological commitments
Expectation of servant leadership and its importance
Hope for Marriages Affected by Domestic Abuse
Finding hope and change through the gospel
The focus on individual safety and sanity over marital restoration
Importance of setting boundaries and personal growth for both partners
Domestic Abuse: Definitions and Dynamics
Misuse of power and patterns of coercive behavior
The importance of recognizing power dynamics in abuse
Differentiating between isolated acts and ongoing patterns of control
Can Women Be Abusive?
Acknowledgment of women's potential for abusive behavior
Differences in power dynamics and impact between men and women
Examples of women abusing power in certain contexts
Nonviolent Resistance and Personal Agency
Encouraging nonviolent forms of resistance
The significance of maintaining dignity and agency
Practical advice on resisting control without escalating violence
Monday Nov 11, 2024
Monday Nov 11, 2024
RESOURCES: Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-GET-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start
The Hidden Depths of Addiction
Discovery of her husband's addiction
Struggles with expectations of respect and family values, especially within the church setting
Facing Anger and Abuse
Anger and threats escalate
Irrational anger
Psychological and physical toll of the marriage
The Impact on Children
Tansil's fear and realization of the impact on her children
Protective actions taken to shield her children from the abuse
Recognizing Red Flags
Reflection on early warning signs before and soon after marriage
Importance of identifying and not ignoring red flags in relationships
The Turning Point: Seeking Safety
Seeing the truth
Initial steps towards seeking help and legal separation
Legal Separation and Its Aftermath
Hiring an attorney and filing for legal separation
Emotional and practical challenges of separating from an abusive spouse
Experiences with victim services and legal protection
Support Systems and Conquer Community
Participation in Conquer and the support gained from the community
Key lessons and validations received from fellow survivors
Importance of staying anchored in reality and implementing safety plans
The Role of Faith and Church
Challenges with pastoral support and their often inadequate response to abuse
Importance of faith and prayer in Tansil's journey
Positive and negative experiences with church leadership
Final Thoughts and Advice
Encouragement to listeners to trust their gut instincts and prioritize safety
Advice on not dismissing red flags and recognizing one's own worth
Final reflections and call to action for women in similar situations to seek help and support
Monday Nov 04, 2024
Monday Nov 04, 2024
RESOURCES
Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start Pattern Questions to Ask:
When was the first time ...
When was the last time...
What is a typical time?
What's the worst time?
Summary: In this episode, Julie Sedenko and relationship expert Leslie Vernick discuss how to recognize and address destructive relationships. Leslie highlights five key signs of a destructive relationship and offers advice on navigating these challenging situations.
Identifying Red Flags in Marriage
Explanation of common red flags that may indicate a relationship is becoming destructive.
Recognizing Patterns of Destructive Behavior
Importance of identifying repeat patterns in behavior that are harmful.
Differentiation between occasional mistakes and ongoing destructive patterns.
Sign One: Feeling Controlled
Indicators of control and manipulation in a relationship.
Psychological and emotional impact of being controlled.
Sign Two: Feeling Afraid
Understanding fear in non-physically abusive relationships.
Common fears and their effects on the dynamics of a relationship.
Sign Three: Feeling Confused
The role of gaslighting in causing confusion.
Strategies for regaining clarity and validating one’s own reality.
Sign Four: Feeling Objectified
Recognizing when one is being treated as an object rather than a partner.
The emotional toll of objectification.
Sign Five: Deception
Impact of chronic deception on trust and safety in a relationship.
Recognizing the signs of deceit and its consequences.
Navigating Deceptive and Manipulative Behavior
Dealing with duplicity and manipulation in relationships.
Strategies for protecting oneself and maintaining sanity.
Taking Control of Your Happiness
Personal anecdotes and empowerment stories.
Importance of self-celebration and taking charge of one’s own well-being.
Recognizing Destructive Patterns and Seeking Safety
Identifying patterns and understanding their frequency and intensity.
Assessing personal boundaries and safety measures.
Relationship Truth: Unfiltered
Relationships. They can be difficult and even disappointing. But what about when they become destructive? Does God want you to stay in a relationship "no matter what?"
You know you're supposed to forgive. Does that mean forgetting? What if the sin continues?
In this podcast, relationship expert and best-selling author, Leslie Vernick tackles all of these questions and more. And she doesn't hand out the same old drivel you may have heard in the counseling office.
Get ready for real, biblical help for even the most destructive of relationships.